thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
handjob tips. give me some.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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