i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize