Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
