What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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