Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
