Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize