if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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