ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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