girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
