I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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