I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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