Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
