You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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