dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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