You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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