I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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