So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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