Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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