dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it was like eating out sand paper
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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