I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
