it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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