I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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