Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
