I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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