so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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