just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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