belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
