I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
