I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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