She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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