i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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