therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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