And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Randomize
