Christians are straight up FREAKS
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
