i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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