My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
