Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
