AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
