were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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