He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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