but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
