Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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