Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
