We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
