talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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