Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
