The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
