I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize