question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
