The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize