I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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