I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im holly from the hills drunk
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
