Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do herpes really smell.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
