wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
