office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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