You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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