if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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