apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
