I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
