hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
