fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
