Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
