Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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