If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize