no, he came in my armpit
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
