I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
