I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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