tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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