You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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