so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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