Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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