doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
