True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
