halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize