im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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