I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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