do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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