But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
