There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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