The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
